Why dying can be funny (not for the dead ofcourse)

The Weirdest Ways to Die 

While the concept of death is meant to be sad and painful, the death of certain individuals in the past have been a major source of laughter, simply because of the hilarity/absurdity of the way they died. This post is not meant to ridicule the dead (rest in peace folks), but to only 'admire' the different ways that people have adopted to meet their maker.


1. The London Beer Flood 

I can hear the beer lovers shout in excitement - but it wasn't as fun as it sounds. In 1814, a giant vat in a brewery burst open, causing a domino effect that burst the surrounding vats open too. It led to 323000 imperial gallons of beer to flow into the streets, flooding the neighborhood, destroying some homes, crumbling a local pub (trapping an employee inside).

Pic curtsy the Snake River Brewery

8 Londoners died in this beer tsunami, either by drowning or injuries. This catastrophe was called God's displeasure towards the alcohol culture.


2. The Rocking Pool Party

In 1984, the New Orleans lifeguards through a lavish pool party to celebrate their first 'drown-free' swimming season. Sounds lit, right? Well, irony didn't think so. The party was a rocking success, until a non-lifeguard guest at this party, 31 year old Jerome Moody, drowned. There were 4 lifeguards on duty and about a 100 guests were lifeguards themselves, but no one could save the drowning young man.

3. The death of a victor

• If someone asked you to guess how you’ll one day die, chances are you wouldn’t say ‘infection caused by some really trivial minor screw-up’.
• But that’s exactly what happened to ninth-century Norse warrior, Sigurd the Mighty, who, after emerging victorious in combat, strapped his enemy’s severed head to his saddle and rode home. He ended up grazing his leg on the exposed teeth and died from the ensuing infection.
• Moral of the story kids: Pride can kill you.



Viralnova, Pinterest

4. The Dancing Epidemic

• In 1518, a woman stepped into the streets of Strasbourg City and started to dance. Several days later, she was still at it, and hundreds joined in. This was the first of what became Europe’s compulsive dancing outbreaks.
• Authorities believed the affliction would pass if the affected danced it out, Napoleon Dynamite-style, so halls were made available and musicians were hired. Days passed, but none quit. Eventually, people dropped dead of sheer exhaustion.
• It took months for the epidemic to recede, and the afflicted had to be loaded onto wagons and taken to a healing shrine. It’s believed this mass hysteria was caused by extreme famine, disease and spiritual despair.

A 1642 Engraving by Hendrik Hondius portrays three women affected by the plague.

5. My damn cough

Napoleon Bonaparte, the famous French soldier had many a great feats pinned to his collar. However, there are some stupid stains there too. Once, affected by a serious case of cough and cold, he sneezed out loud and cursed, Ma Sacre Toux - which means 'my damn cough'. His officers, however, heard something completely different. They heard him say, "Massacre-tous", which means massacre all. 

This 'misunderstanding' cause the execution of a 1000 soldiers. Oops.



6. The Fatal Beard

Austrian dude, Hans Steininger, was famous for two things: 1) Having the longest beard in the world (then, 4 feet and 2 inches long). 2) Dying due to the long beard.

In 1567, there was a fire in Austria. In his haste, Mr. Steininger, forgot about the length of his beard. He forgot to roll it up, tripped on it, broke his neck, and well, died.


7. Death by a Healthy Diet

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• Basil Brown was a UK health fanatic who managed to drink himself to death with carrot juice. He reportedly drank more than a gallon of the sweet stuff a day, believing it would give him x-ray vision – or just generally make him healthier.
• He ended up guzzling over ten gallons in ten days, which gave him ten thousand times more than the recommended amount of vitamin A and, ultimately, led to fatal liver damage. Moderation, folks.

8. The paradox of Marcus Garvey's death

from George Grantham Bain Collection

Garvey was a proponent of Black nationalism in Jamaica and the United States. On 10 June, 1940, he read a fake obituary of himself which called him "fake, broke and unpopular". He hated it so much that he had a stroke and died.

9. The Kiss of Death

A 20 year old, Myriam Ducré-Lemay went to a Montreal party with her boyfriend back in October 2012. They had a great time, until, well, she died. How? Her boyfriend had enjoyed a hefty meal of scrumptious peanut butter sandwich at the party. Little did he know that she had a severe nut allergy, and his 'little kiss', would end up as a kiss of death. 

10. The Snake Charmer

Cartoon by Darwin Awards

In 1997, Wayne Roth of Pittston, Pennsylvania, was bitten by a cobra belonging to his friend Roger after reaching into the tank to pick the poisonous snake up. 

“I don’t need to go to hospital” Wayne apparently told Roger. “I’m a man. I can handle it.”

Instead, on Wayne’s suggestion, the pair headed to a pub instead. There he proved what a man he was by sinking several pints, boasting about the bite, and promptly dying about an hour later.

Cobra venom is, it seems, a slow-acting toxin which takes several hours to attack the central nervous system.

What a guy.

Which way would you die? :)

The Paradox of the Afterlife

If I live after I die.... Do I never die ??

It is, perhaps, the biggest mysteries of our life - what happens after life, as we know it, ends. For multiple millennia, several theories have existed, with people especially in the past, strongly believing in life after death. Whether it was reincarnation, heaven and hell, or rising in the spiritual hierarchy (a.k.a closer to God) - the beliefs are plenty. It is also one of the primary reasons why we have different ways to dispose off a corpse, either by burial, electrocution, cremation etc. for these are all in lieu of the 'life the dead would live after they die'. Paradoxical? Damn right.

We are all generally aware of the ideas of Heaven and Hell; it's common to most of the religions, just known as different names. However, there have been way cooler, diverse, and low-key crazy theories that have prevailed/are prevailing in our world. Let's take a look:


1. The Egyptians

The Egyptians took their dead seriously. They practiced the expensive and labour intensive art of mummification, as that was the only way to have an after-life. This method preserved bodies so well, that they can be viewed even today, in a relatively normal conditions. Entry to the 'Afterlife Park' was demanding. It obviously required a sin-free heart and the ability to recite the spells, passwords and formulae from the Book of the Dead. In the Hall of Two Truths, the deceased's heart was weighed against the Shu feather of truth and justice taken from the headdress of the goddess Ma'at. If the heart was lighter than the feather, they could pass on, but if it were heavier they would be devoured by the demon Ammit. No Big Deal. 

Weighing the soul of the deceased

To help them on this journey, families generally left food, jewelry, a copy of the Book of the Dead, painted gateways inside the sarcophagus (intricate coffins) that lead the soul to the afterlife. 

Next flight to After Life leaving in T-2 minutes.

They mummified animals too.

2. Islam

A central doctrine of the Quran is the Last Day, on which the world will be destroyed and Allah will raise all people and jinn from the dead to be judged. The Last Day is also called the Day of Standing Up, Day of Separation, Day of Reckoning, Day of Awakening, Day of Judgment, The Encompassing Day or The Hour.

Until the Day of Judgment, deceased souls remain in their graves awaiting the resurrection. However, they begin to feel immediately a taste of their destiny to come. Those bound for hell will suffer in their graves, while those bound for heaven will be in peace until that time.

The resurrection that will take place on the Last Day is physical, and is explained by suggesting that God will re-create the decayed body (17:100: "Could they not see that God who created the heavens and the earth is able to create the like of them"?).

On the Last Day, resurrected humans and jinn will be judged by Allah according to their deeds. One's eternal destination depends on balance of good to bad deeds in life. They are either granted admission to Paradise, where they will enjoy spiritual and physical pleasures forever, or condemned to Hell to suffer spiritual and physical torment for eternity. The day of judgment is described as passing over Hell on a narrow bridge in order to enter Paradise. Those who fall, weighted by their bad deeds, will remain in Hell forever.

3. Hinduism

Hindus extensively believe in the idea of reincarnation, as is defined by the Bhagwad Gita and the Upanishads. Afterlife for them is a 3 step process:

1) Die.

2) Spend time in Heaven/Hell based on the kind of life you lived

3) After having completed your quota of punishments or rewards, you proceed to the next life.

Now, this new life is also governed by your past deeds. Poor deeds will force you to be reborn as an animal, good deeds as a human. A life dedicated to the service of God alone would send you to God himself, for eternity, ending the cycle of life and death. It is only the body that ever dies, the soul, being indestructible, always lives on. This is where the concept of Karma originated, and we all know...

4.  Beetlejuice (a movie)

According to the imagination of director Tim Burton, when we die, we continue to live in the form of ghosts stuck in a parallel dimension from which only an iconoclast exorcist can free us.

Catch the whole movie in this GIF:

5. What is life, but a Dream

According to certain theories, right before you die, you see your entire life in front of you, really really slowly. For all you know, that's what you're doing right now. RIP

6. The 72 Virgin Theory

Some Islamist terrorist are driven by the notion that, after you die, 72 Virgins await you in the after-life, only if you would have served Allah well. However, some scholars claim that this translation was actually false, and instead of 'virgins', it is actually grapes that are waiting for them in the afterlife. Oops.

7. Aztecs

The Aztecs had a very specific (and mildly unjustified) theory on Afterlife. According to the Aztecs, soldiers who died during battle were reincarnated as butterflies or hummingbirds four years after their demise. Those who drowned would go to heaven, and the rest wouldn’t escape death, after first spending four years in hell.

Future Butterflies

8.  Samuel's Theory

Samuel Murray, a facebook user, gave us a theory earlier this year (8th January, 2017).



This post went viral, and raises several questions that can, unfortunately, not be answered just yet. It is said the guy was stoned when he came up with this thought. One can only imagine how intriguing the thought would have felt at that moment.



9. Zombies

Zombies are featured widely in Haitian rural folklore as dead persons physically revived by the act of necromancy of a bokor, a sorcerer or witch. The bokor is opposed by the houngan or priest and the mambo or priestess of the formal voodoo religion. A zombie remains under the control of the bokor as a personal slave, having no will of its own.

The idea of physical zombie-like creatures is present in some South African cultures, where they are called xidachane in Sotho/Tsonga and maduxwane in Venda. In some communities, it is believed that a dead person can be zombified by a small child. It is said that the spell can be broken by a powerful enough sangoma. It is also believed in some areas of South Africa that witches can zombify a person by killing and possessing the victim's body in order to force it into slave labor.

10. Flatliners

Well this one isn't a theory, but a movie that seeks to scientifically find out what happens after the end of life. If that sounds awesome, check out this uber cool trailer:

If you ever happen to find out what happens after death, I hope you live to tell the tale! 

It's 13 days until Halloween, the dead await. :)

Talking from the Grave

Discussing the much awaited Zombie Apocalypse, and other tales of the dead.. 

About a 100 billion humans and trillions and trillions of different species, have seen the face of our Earth. They each had a story, each had a life full of sun rises and sun sets (except those organisms that live for some minutes - that’s just sad). They’ve achieved a lot, lost a lot, worked a lot and thrived - but just in a simple, short second, each of those hundred billion humans and trillions and trillions of animals, eventually lost their life, and dropped dead. It’s the one thing, one thing other than life itself that connect everything worthy of being called an organism - death: The one common ending.  Ain’t that cool? (And weird/freaky etc).

This blog is about death, and everything awesome about it. I’m not suicidal, or “waiting for death to find me”. It freaks me out too. Yet there is something absolutely fascinating about the idea of death and how the world has been seeing it for several thousand centuries. The best way to examine how history viewed death, is by looking at it directly. Confused? Tombs! 

Families spend anything between a $100 - $10000 on a tomb - which is just an approximation, because there are known tombs/graves of a much much (much much) higher value (*cough* pyramids *cough*). It’s a memory, something that is supposed to commemorate or sum up someone’s entire life into an object... forever. Which is why, people go crazy with tombs and graves. Here’s how:

1. Tomb of Qin Shi Huang Di, China's first emperor

Fear is expensive, proves this tomb 

Xian, China: The terracotta army is guarding the tomb of the First Emperor of China, Qin Shi Huang di. His fear of death and and quest for immortality brought the creation of these warriors. They are life-sized and individually modeled with great detail. Current estimates put the number of sculptures in the terra-cotta army to be over 8000 soldiers, 130 chariots, 520 horses, 150 cavalry horses. 

2. The tomb of love

A proof of love

Located at Roermond, the Netherlands, a Catholic woman and her Protestant husband had this tomb built in their respective churches, connected via joined hands that meet above the boundary of the two churches. Love always finds a way.

3. The Scrabble Dude's Tomb

Once a nerd, always a nerd

This is a grave of logophile. As is obvious, his family made his grave in the form of the famous board game. While one may assume that each word present is used to define him - that is not true, since there are some random words used, like 'hard, computer, inside and foot', which, um, are not adjectives.

4.  Underwater Graves

This one is really cool. 'Eternal Reefs' is a company that creates mini tombs in the form of artifical coral reefs and places them underwater. Good luck visiting them though.

5.  Lenin’s Mausoleum (Estimated Cost: $15 million)

Mark of a true leader

Lenin died in 1924. Since then, the Russian government has been spending around $200,000 every year to maintain his body. His body is displayed inside his mausoleum in Red Square, Moscow. The whole building and its reconstructions are estimated to cost around $15 million.

6. The Nintoku’s Tomb (Osaka, Japan)

It required 2.7million tons of dirt to make

It is the largest tomb in Japan and the third largest in the world. Japanese people call it Kofun. It is a megalithic tomb which is a man-made island shaped like a keyhole if seen from above. Nintoku was the 16th emperor of Japan from the year of 313 to 399. He was believed to be 142 years old when he died. In the words of the youth of Japanese, this tomb is also known as 'shady'. (I see why)

7. Egypt (Need I say more?)

 The Valley of the Kings, on the western banks of the Nile, where for over 500 years, rock cut tombs were made for the pharaohs of Egypt. The tomb of Tutankhamun, the only Egyptian pharaoh nearly everyone knows, is present here too. The Pyramid of Giza is another incredible (and crazy) example of gigantic tombs, standing at 481 feet tall, made in  the honor of King Khufu. 553 million people die every 10 years (approx), and that is the amount of time it took to make this tomb for two people.

8. Fernand Arbelot's gravestone

Love.

This tomb stone gets a mention, because of the high levels of creepines it manages to achieve. While the style and design of the marble tomb is commendable, the tomb itself looks, freaky. This is the tombstone of a musician and actor Fernand Arbelot, buried in the Pere Lachaise cemetery. The tombstone shows him holding his wife’s face as he wished to gaze at her face for eternity. Isn't it, um, sweet?

9. A tomb in Mexico

This fascinates me so much. To find humor in a grave (haha, pun) matter, such as death, is unusual, and certainly leaves a good memory of a loved one. Who wouldn't want to be remembered with a smile?

10. The Taj Mahal

Every girl's preferred Valentine Day's gift

One of the most famous wonders of the world, the Taj Mahal, was a tomb built in the memory of Mughal King Shah Jahan's wife, Mumtaaz Mahal. This vast monument is known for the eternal commemoration of love, which took 20 years to be made. Made fully with marble, the tomb cost approximately $1 billion to build. 

Fun Fact: While we remember Taj Mahal as a symbol of love, Mumtaaz Mahal actually died while giving birth to her fourteenth child. It is rumored that Shah Jahan had the hands cut off from the people who worked on the Taj Mahal (16000 inj number) once it was complete. His reasoning was that nobody would ever be able to build such a beautiful building ever again.

Bonus : Nicholas Cage

Dream of being a pharaoh? Here's your chance!

Don't worry, he isn't dead. Known for his eccentric ways, the famous actor purchased this pyramid shaped tomb, to be buried beneath after his death. 

Bonus Bonus : For the love of dog

Zombie Canines (deserve a movie?)

Ancient Egyptians glorified dogs, unlike many other religions around the world. People often mummified dogs and placed them in the tomb of it's owner, along with tiny bowls for food after death. For all the Dog lovers out there, can we get an 'Aww'?

Stay tuned, for a weekly dose on death! I promise to keep it lively and fun.